Football

In view of rugby union’s ongoing “trial” of Television Monitoring of Foul Play (with the power to intervene instantly), it is interesting to see Sepp Blatter bouncing with excitement over his  decision to implement Goal Line Television Supervision in soccer. I am always intrigued by the way Blatter talks a good game on the subject of TV, but manages to keep actual  progress so slow as to be almost imperceptible. Goal line supervision is a good thing, but it barely scratches the surface of Association Football’s on-field anomalies. Bear in mind, however, that I have a very vivid imagination and know very little about the round-ball-game.

Rugby

These days, when a scrum is about to form, there is a new system, designed to create a meeting of minds rather than a clashing of heads.  The ref, standing right next to the attentive sixteen bodies, issues three commands: “Crouch!”, “Touch!” and “Engage!” Instead of doing this pianissimo (after all, he couldn’t be closer to the parties concerned), he tends to bark, snarl and scream, in that order, which kind of defeats the object of the exercise and encourages the enraged beasts to smash into each other in a most dangerous fashion.

Next criticism: “Engage!” is two syllables. An executive order of this sort must be monosyllabic to avoid argument and misunderstanding. I suggest “Push!” That would give us “Crouch! Touch! Push” and the motif  would be admirably civilised.

Racing

The starting problem (with large fields) shows no sign of going away. The authorities seem to accept that it is desirable to provide horses with a calming atmosphere at the start, yet they still persist with a process guaranteed to stir things up.

I had hoped for some words of wisdom from Mick Fitzgerald on Channel 4. He notices what’s going on (the unfairness and stress of the process) and remarks on it, but he seems to find nothing objectionable about it.  When he first rode in races, the greenest apprentice could be assured of  the same chance as the champion jockey until such time as the tapes went up (that’s what’s called a fair start, and is normal in sporting circles), and  in those days all horses and  jockeys could rely on a bit of peace and quiet in the preliminary period. But apparently he has forgotten all that. Pity.

The 2.05 at Newbury on March 2nd 2013 added to the evidence  on this fascinating subject. In the crowding as the field came onto the track  Buck Magic had a problem with the access gap (as so often happens, even though in this case there were only twelve runners), and found himself  way behind the rest. His jockey alerted the starter, who had already let the field go, and the latter quite rightly called a false start. That part of the story adds to the case against the “stir’em up” principle, but the best is yet to come.

The runners pulled up and walked back  past the starting gate and Buck Magic joined them. At this stage I imagine someone told them to turn and try again. They turned and  began to walk forward. There they were, in line abreast, with plenty of room, relaxed and walking, and that’s how a perfect start was enacted.  But clearly doing it that way is much too simple for the genius who is currently calling the shots in Startersville.  It is rather sad when people in authority are too stupid or too obstinate to  see the very obvious error of their ways. However, we live in hope. I am happy to report that Buck Magic won the race.

Food

I am sure I am the only person who has taken this long for the penny to drop, but I want everybody to share  my “Eureka” moment.  Oranges, orange juice, and pink grapefruit taste better if they are chilled. Not just a little bit, but very chilled. In the fridge overnight. Latenightextra: try wholemeal toast and butter generously spread with refrigerated raspberry jam.

Real Life.

As I mentioned in Culture, I am full of hope that the new broom at the BBC is going to sweep away the rubbish.  That’s good. Not so good is my feeling about our prime minister.

I personally will never have any time for a so-called sporting gent from a definitely sporting family (with racing in its blood), who did nothing to ensure that the Tote remained the property of the racing industry. Sir Winston Churchill was responsible for the birth of the Tote, expressly created to give racing its own mechanism for earning money from betting, and it was established without any capital investment from public funds. So why did  Mr Cameron opt for the idea that the Tote belonged to the nation and must be sold off? I rather think he was looking after his own image. He, a toff, didn’t want to be seen apparently handing a valuable asset to a “toff’s sport,” even though that toff”s sport had every right to that valuable asset.   As for the 80,000 workforce in the racing industry, whose prosperity is linked to that of the industry as a whole – well, Mr Cameron found it convenient to forget that they exist. After all, his image was at stake. How much lower can a man sink?

That is my personal grouse, but over the last couple of years I have come to the conclusion that when times are really hard the people need a leader for whom they have some kind of affection.  In such circumstances an unloved leader is a millstone round the neck of any  government, and unloved is exactly what I consider Cameron to be.  I also fear that if the dreariness which I associate with him continues much longer, Conservatives will lose the will to live.

I hope I am wrong. if I’m right, are there not ways and means of re-arranging the personnel? In an orderly fashion. I have a feeling that procedures exist. Surely? If so, the sooner the better. Otherwise the wagon train will grind to a halt under the weight of that millstone and we’ll wake up to find that Miliband  has slithered under the door of Number 10.  Ouch!

Andrew Simpson

3rd March 2013