PARTIES

The two battles of El Alamein (in 1942) were preceded by several months of high tension as Rommel waited for more petrol from Italy and Montgomery for better tanks from America.

During this period it became normal for Monty’s junior officers to be sent into Cairo at regular intervals, under orders to indulge in week-ends of wine, women and song, before returning to their regiments with a renewed determination to “have a crack at Jerry” and if necessary to die in the process. Many did both.

Meanwhile the rank and file of Monty’s army stayed out in the desert and obeyed orders, which were to keep their heads down. So they did. That was the comparatively easy bit.

It is perhaps no coincidence that the SAS was created under precisely these conditions. (Read “To War with Whitaker” by the Countess of Ranfurly, for evidence that I am telling the truth.)

I am surprised that Boris Johnson apologised for adopting a policy which is so soundly based and so clearly appropriate. I would suggest that more parties, rather than less, is the way to reward and inspire those who work all the daylight hours and late into the night, week upon week, in a vital battle against a formidable enemy, on behalf of the nation.

In addition Boris deserves the credit for the Vaccination Drive which has put Britain in pretty good shape healthwise (fingers crossed) in spite of the antiVac faction. He must also take considerable  credit for the robust state of the British Economy.

The downside for Boris consists of the screech-owl impressions erupting daily from the mouth of the so-called leader of the opposition, plus waves of poison gas from the ranks of small-minded politicians on both sides of the House of Commons who try to dislodge Boris  from his high office in the shameful hope of self-advancement. No problem for a man of his stature.

FALSE STARTS 

12/11/2021 Chelt. 4.00 False Start

13/11/2021 Uttox  3.17   False Start 

13/11/2021 Uttox  3.50   2 x False Starts 

19/11/2021 Ascot 12.55  False Start

04/12/2021 Aint 12.55   False Start

27/12/2021 Chep            False Start (Welsh Grand  National  £85,000 )

15/1/2022  Kemp2.40    False Start  (Lanzarote  £56,000)  2 fallers at second. False Start–related? Yes.

The last time I analysed the False Start figures for big fields (17-plus), I reckoned that 40 percent of starts featuring the Rolling Maul suffered False Starts. 40% is serious bad form (or would be in any other country).  That was in 2017. Whereupon the BHA produced a report stating that the total number of False Starts was less than it had been the previous year, and the authorities were very happy.

I reminded the fiction-writer-in-chief that the Rolling Maul only featured in the starting process of a small number of races (most of which are prestige contests), so those races should be assessed in isolation. This would reveal and confirm the disgraceful 40 percent figure.

Two BHA scribes  decided that they didn’t have time to re-do the sums, and made it clear that the happiness of the BHA was all that really mattered.

So they did nothing, and the Rolling Maul remains part of the system to this day, encouraging False Starts which are unpleasant and dangerous for horses and riders, and also unequal, so that they make a nonsense of the results of prestigious races, which is tiresome for the betting public, particularly form students.

But that is what happens when a racing authority isn’t very careful in its recruiting policy. It is a mistake to give the management of big field starts to a man with no previous experience in starting large numbers of steeplechasers. Making that mistake once is bad enough. Do it twice in succession and you get twelve or fifteen years of chaos at the start of important races.  This brings racing into disrepute.  Oh dear….Oh dear! I believe the Cheltenham Jamboree will soon be upon us.

THE BHA MYSTERY

In terms of finance the BHA has been the poorest racing authority in the world for sixty years. This is strange because it is a well known fact that Ireland, France, Italy, Germany, America, South America, Australia, Japan, Bahrain, Dubai, Saudi Arabia, Hong Kong, New Zealand and Norway all seem to live in a very satisfactory world where a racing industry can offer its government a win-win proposition by promoting the following prescription:  “Give us legislation which allows us to spread our wings and fly, and we will repay you a hundredfold per annum for ever.”  In all the countries I have mentioned that deal has been struck, and it has worked. Racing industries have grown and thrived, and governments have enjoyed spending, on the needs of the nation as a whole, vast amounts of extra income garnered from their horsemen, year after year.

If so many nations have found the key to plenty, it can’t be rocket science. What stops Britain from joining the happy throng?  I would suggest that ninety-five per cent of BHA employees are decent, hard-working and intelligent racing fans. They do a good job and deserve to be recognised as part of the racing community. The trouble is that most of the crucial decisions seem to be made by people with no aspirations beyond the weekly pay packet, and no intention of doing the serious work for which that pay packet is meant to be the reward. This “gang” somehow took control of the industry’s engine room (the BHA) and put a notice on the door, which reads “DO NOT DISTURB.” It has been there since the 1950s.

I suspect that the present rather unsatisfactory British situation will last until somebody (Mrs Phelps and Mrs Harrington, preferably) tears down that sign, blows up that door and leads those freeloaders out of their sanctuary and off the premises.  They must be replaced by a better class of biped: people who are capable of gazing, without trembling, at the formidable mountain which British Racing has got to climb, capable also of charting a course from bottom to top, and capable finally of getting from base to apex without falling by the wayside. It is a big ask, as they say, but it can be done.

Best wishes,

DONEC