BORIS

I am delighted with Boris’s performance. At last a Prime Minister with brain and guts, and someone who isn’t in politics for the money. Such a pleasant change from the appalling Mrs May, the disgraceful Cameron, the unspeakable Blair.

The suggestion that Boris tells lies is interesting. Take the matter of the nurses. He says the NHS needs 50,000 more . He says the government will pay for more nurses and adds that persuading nurses to stay in the NHS, when  conditions are such that many are tempted to leave, is just as important as buying the services of new nurses.

Whereupon a thousand asses throw back their heads and bray “He’s lying!” In fact he is simply reminding us of the facts of life. If you recruit twenty nurses and the “nurse-drain” removes ten of them, progress is going to cost twice as much and take twice as long.

The Brexit Bus is another case. 75 percent of what the Brexit Bus said was absolutely true. How much more truth does the nation require, served as it is by a political class that is itself quite partial to lying and cheating as it goes about the business of getting rich quick at the country’s expense?

I’m not suggesting that he’s perfect. When he comes to the finale of a speech, Boris goes in for body movements which resemble the late great Rocky Marciano.  Probably not a good idea for Boris, because it does make him sound just a little bit too shrill.

In March 1943 Marciano (later World Heavyweight Champion and unbeaten as a professional boxer) was in the United States army and stationed in Wales. While there he fought a young Welshman, Jack Matthews, in a 4-round amateur bout which ended in a draw. After the war Jack Matthews and Bleddyn Williams became possibly the most celebrated pair of centre-three-quarters in the history of Rugby.  Matthews (who became a doctor)  was once described as a brick wall on legs, a description which could well have been applied to Marciano. It must have been a hell of a fight.

Where was I? Boris! His work ethic is superb, his brain is top class and I believe he is one of the few MPs who didn’t falsify his living expenses. In addition, in the recent election he has wooed and won the North. If the North says he is all right, I couldn’t give a toss for the views of those who have spent the last twenty years “knocking” him.

BIG-FIELD STARTS

Recently I have seen plenty of good starts, with the field sometimes even encouraged to “make a line” and to keep walking until the starter sends them on their way. There are also signs that efforts are being made to keep the runners closer to the starting gate by the judicious use of plastic rails. That is good stuff and going in the right direction. Congratulations to the BHA. But….

However bigger fields will have to be dealt with in due course, and I fear that 35 horses (or thereabouts) will test the system because the Rolling Maul (the tight-packed procession) cannot help but build up the pressure on horses and riders. A nose-to-tail circular rotation keeps things calm. It should be tried. BHA, where are you? You are doing half the job – why not just complete it?

Two quotes that may be relevant:

This is Mick Fitzgerald commenting on a pre-race large-field frenzy. “Some of them don’t have their girths checked properly; they’re in such a hurry to get a good position (in the procession).” Pay attention, Raceday Director  Brant.

The following is from a commentator as a big field lands after the first hurdle. “And there’s already fifteen lengths between first and last.”  That’s what happens when the starting process does not include the opportunity  to  “make a line”. And don’t let anybody tell me that a fifteen length aberration at the start makes no difference to the finishing order.

JUDICIARY

It can be done, you know. What can be done? Completing a job. What about the Independent Judiciary? It is the best bit of work the BHA has done in years. The BHA saw what was needed, commissioned the best man in the country to do it, and Mr Quinlan did a terrific job in record time. Result? “A breath of fresh air” it has been called, where previously racing justice had been something absolutely disgraceful. Why can’t the BHA leadership apply the same high standards to the rest of the chores for which it gets paid large sums of money on a weekly basis?

TIES

Since a few years there has been a misguided notion floating in the breeze to the effect that the neck of the mature homo erectus is a thing of beauty. Therefore the tie becomes surplus to a gentleman’s requirements.

The truth is somewhat different. At about the age of 21 the male neck is robbed of much of its charm by the emergence of the Adam’s Apple. At 31 the whole area begins to shrink, sag and wrinkle. By 41, it has become an area of galloping dereliction which cannot be reversed.

The good news is to be found on Channel 4. John Snow! A fine looking man with a glorious line in colourful neckware and not a wrinkle or sag in sight. That could be you, that could be me, that could be us! Every male has a peacock tendency, and his neck was designed to showcase his appreciation of the pretty things in life.  Bring back the tie! You know it makes sense!

THE NEW YEAR

What does it hold for British Racing? Probably the same old story : every aspect of the industry is in tip-top order, except the BHA, which continues to disappoint, by promoting projects which have not been properly thought through and without sufficient input from proper horsemen (Apprentices, for example), and by ignoring simpler situations crying out for remedial action for years (like Big-field Starting, a constant and recurring problem which the previous Raceday Controller left as a noxious memento of his time in the United Kingdom). It wouldn’t hurt to do a day’s work occasionally, and I am talking about the BHA’s top Brass, not the rank and file.

What is the answer? The Horsemens Group represents the thousands who do a marvellous job and who will suffer the most if things do not improve. They won’t improve if the BHA is not persuaded to do better. Maybe the Horsemens Group should talk to the BHA in more serious mode. Who else is qualified? Donec has tried for more than ten years and hasn’t even dented the surface of indolence and self-satisfaction, or do I mean complacency?

100 monthly exhortations  takes a lot out of a chap, but it’s worth it. Luckily, I have always tried to maintain my sense of humour. That’s another of the things I like about Boris.

Best wishes,

Donec.

PS One thing that annoys me is the BHA’s failure to make more of the “padded whip.”

Here is the story in brief:

The  whip was invented in the early 1980s by the late Jim Mahon, a farmer and engineer, and a big man in the point-to-point and Hunter Chase world. John Hislop, journalist, and owner-breeder of  a very good horse whose name I have just remembered , Brigadier Gerard. He brought the padded whip to the attention of the Jockey Club, which looked long and hard and gave its blessing.

Among the early enthusiasts was Nick Skelton (the current Olympic Showjumping champion and father of  the brothers Skelton who are producing so many winners under National Hunt rules as I write this).

Eulogies by Sir Peter O’Sullevan and Lord Oaksey  spread the good word throughout the whole world of the horse – all aspects of same, not just racing. The padded whip was an instant success. It  became mandatory in Britain on the Flat in 2006 if I remember rightly, and in jump racing a couple of years later. Nowadays it is mandatory in racing all over the world, and horses all over the world are queuing up to say “Thank you, British Racing.  This whip is like a feather duster! We horses love you!”

Isn’t that worth three cheers and then three more? Well, here in Britain all it gets from the BHA is very lukewarm, very guarded, very nervous. As if the authorities fear that the whip may one day blow up in their faces. It won’t – simple as that. It is one hundred percent an asset, not an embarrassment.  Cheer up, for Heaven’s sake!